This one goes out to all the AOGers who may occasionally read this blog:

By all means, pray for God's guidance in the upcoming election. Just be aware that ultimately, it's up to you to vote responsibly. God is not going to come down and press the voting lever for you, nor is he going to appear in a burning bush to tell you who you should vote for. You need to use your brain.
Most people believe that brains are God's greatest invention.

I came home from work on Monday and found a stupid walmart mass-mail in my mailbox. Normally, this would be an insignificant event that I'd forget about ten seconds after the recycle bin lid dropped. This time, however, the mail was all about getting ready to go off to college and it was addressed to my dead child.

It still went in the recycle bin, but it also ripped a chunk out of my soul on its way. I've been doing pretty well lately, but underneath the "pretty well"ness, there's a deep, slowly-healing wound that can be reopened by junk mail, apparently.

There have been many times over the last year-and-ten-days when I have wanted to get a message to Sarah wherever she is. Today was one of those times. I was reading about some violent attacks on "Emo" kids in Mexico. The particular thing that confused me was the headline: Emo kids fight back across the country...

I have a new job which I really like. The weird thing is going to work every day with new people who don't know me, who didn't know Sarah. Today marks a year from the last time I spoke to Sarah. Sunday will be the anniversary of her death. I can't talk about it and no one around me knows. It's odd. This too shall pass, right?

I quit my job this week. It is a great load off my mind. I have been unhappy with my job for some time. I had started looking for another job, but then Sarah died and I lost my will to function for a while. I actually had two job offers that I turned down. In retrospect, I think "WHY????" but at the time I had what --at the time -- seemed like very good reasons. So, I have my will to function back and things at work have not improved in the last 10 months (if anything, things just seemed to get more and more surreal), and it seemed time to start looking again. Then, I had a disagreement with my boss that revealed to me just how deep the chasm of misunderstanding is that stands between us. I decided not to wait until I found another job and just go ahead and leave. It was better for everyone involved. I really wish I had done it sooner. Ah well, as they say, "Hindsight is 20/20."

The holidays are difficult. It is like a kick in the side of the head every time a new one comes along. Thanksgiving I could handle. Sarah was rarely with us at Thanksgiving, it seems. Christmas was harsh. It was the only day I flat out cried. I've been wandering around like a zombie for the last ... well, let's face it -- for almost ten months now. But, the holidays really got me.

This weekend, my partner and I will travel down to Texas and (hopefully) see Sarah's new Memorial Stone.

I have a little program called "Writer's Cafe." Among its tools for wannabe writers is one called simply "Prompt." It spits out a writing prompt and let's you set a timer and write for however long based on that prompt. I try to do the prompt at least 15 minutes every day, especially if I can't think of anything else to write. The prompts are sometimes silly or too difficult, but they're always just a short phrase or single word. I was cruising the web today and found some ancient website devoted to writing (apparently not updated since 1995) which also had a writing prompt.

A body was found floating in Elliott Bay on August 8. There were a couple of sentences in the news about it. A ferry passenger spotted it, the fire department in cooperation with the coast guard retrieved it and turned it over to the King County Medical Examiner's office. A few days later, it was reported in another few sentences that the body had been identified as Dean Halpaus of Renton.